Sisterly Chats

Sal called this morning at breakfast. She said that she wanted to meet me in town “for a chat”. Bloody typical hormonal woman. We met in the Mona Lisa Café in Medhurst's. What a bloody dive. Apart from us the clientele was made up entirely of elderly ladies in plastic raincoats. It was monumentally depressing, not least as Sal wanted to have a massive rant at me for not calling her to congratulate her on her engagement to knobface. I tried a half-hearted apology but it didn’t wash so then I informed her that I had been far too busy with my A-level mocks and said she wouldn’t understand as she never bothered with higher education. That went down like a cup of cold sick but I was riled. It wasn’t my fault. She called me a bastard, I called her self-obsessed and then she cried. After that everything was fine. Giving her hand a trusty squeeze was all it took.

She at least realises that her in-laws are the gippos from Hell. Apparently Ian’s uncle is currently doing time for car theft. They say they don’t speak to him anymore but still, it doesn’t bode well gene wise for my potential nieces and nephews. I don’t really want relatives who are going to be inclined to steal from me in the future. Especially as I’m bound to be extremely rich and successful and have all the things that they can only dream of.

After over an hour of her her her, she finally asked me about my social life and I decided to tell her about tonight’s party. To her credit she actually seemed genuinely excited for me. I didn’t mention the whole sex thing though I did say that there was a girl who was interested in me. Annoyingly this just made her laugh. Shortly after that I made my excuses and left. Managed to pick up some discounted perfume for Mother. I hope she likes it. It smells a bit like lavender which I’m sure old women love..

Now I need to go to that chemists and then get ready. Only six hours to go…