The Letter

So a letter has arrived this morning. It’s from Sal. And it says:

“Dear Clarence,

I wanted to write this in a letter so you’d be able to keep it for old times’ sake.

On Sunday Ian proposed to me and I said yes!!!! Isn’t that just the most exciting thing ever?? He even asked Dad formally for my hand in marriage. He’s such a great guy and is going to be a brilliant brother to you Clarence. He’s already got lots of ideas about what you should do with your life. I’m so happy.

The engagement ring was his grandmother’s. It’s a beautiful sapphire and diamond cluster. All the girls at work are really jealous.

The wedding will probably happen in May next year. It’s going to be brilliant!!

Speak to you soon

Lots of love

Sal xxx”

I am still shaking. This is basically the end of our family, such as it is. If she thinks I’m having anything to do with Ian’s lot then she’s seriously deluded. Oh and “he’s already got lots of ideas about what you should do with your life”.. er, excuse me??! If he so much as puts forward an opinion on ANYTHING I express an interest in doing then I will actually summon up some kind of primeval urge and punch him so hard in the face he’ll look like a Chinaman.

I feel absolutely sick to the core. And what a bloody povvo. Giving her his grandmother’s ring. Everyone knows you’re supposed to spend shit loads of cash on an engagement ring. Not just nick it off a dead relative and palm it off as a heartfelt gesture. What a despicable knob. I seriously don’t think I’m going to be able to be civil to him when we next have to meet. No doubt they’re already planning some sort of hideous engagement party. I pray God that it’s not going to be at our house. For a start Mother will undoubtedly shame herself with a drunken spectacle and I don’t doubt his family will probably rob us blind of every antique we own. What a complete and unmitigated disaster.