Mock Shortbread

I decided to be super-generous and take Elspeth a Christmas present when I went to see her yesterday afternoon. I bought her a tin of shortbread from Sainsbury’s. One of those ones that comes in a tin that looks like it’s got a ribbon around it. I thought that was pretty damn generous of me but she didn’t seem remotely impressed. Bloody old hag. Don’t think I’ll bother with her anymore. That was £1.49 down the bloody drain. Honestly, she looked at it like I’d given her a tin of dog turds. Elspeth; that’s probably a Scottish name isn’t it.. They’re a dour old bunch. I expect she doesn’t really believe in celebrating Christmas, or anything else come to that. These war veterans are all about sufferance and hardship. They bloody love it. Well, they can have it. I’m not going to feel bad about wanting to enjoy life. Sorry Elspeth, you’re history.

My driving test has been cancelled next week. Total pain in the arse. Now I’m not going to be able to drive during the hols which is going to make impressing Zoe a damn sight harder. I spoke to Ralph about the party. He thinks I should ask her about it. He says it’ll be a good way to “open up a dialogue” – I seriously question Ralph’s taste in vocab at times. I want him to ask. Hard as it is to admit, he’s better looking than me, and Zoe’s bound to be more encouraged if he mentions it to her. She’ll think I’m just after more fumbles if I say anything. Of course that’s exactly what I am after but I don’t want to make it obvious. Last mock today. Who’d be a teacher? They’ve got to get them all marked and results back to us by Wednesday. I think I can safely say I’m not particularly looking forward to Wednesday..