Orange Tights

An advent calendar arrived in the post this morning. I think it’s from Dad, though it purported to be from Mother. The signature was decidedly unconvincing, not least due to the sober nature of its construction.. Still, I’m pleased to have received one from someone. It’s not chocolate of course but, as I have already mentioned, that pleases me frankly.

Ralph has been made a house monitor. I can’t bloody believe it. It’s a total sham and it’s only the case because Mark C was one and, now he’s in his Arizona retreat, he’s “unavailable for duty” (these were the actual words of Ralph’s housemaster). I’m now the only person I know with a plain black tie. Ralph can now wear one with red stripes. It’s so bloody unfair. He’d better not get ideas above his station. It’s only a house monitorship I suppose. If he was a school monitor that would be a different thing altogether. They get to walk on the lawns. And I know Ralph. He’d deliberately do that just because I couldn’t.

Apparently Mark C will be back next term. Poor bloke. We never did get to the bottom of the charlie scandal. My money’s on Ed Humphreys. But that’s only because whenever there’s a drug story doing the rounds Ed’s name usually pops up somewhere along the way. He’s a jammy bastard you know. I think sometimes people are just born lucky and they flaunt it. They can get away with outrageous behaviour because of it. I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if Ed ends up in politics. Luck always runs out of course. So one day I’ll doubtless read that he’s been found dead, lying on a hotel bed with a pair of black tights over his head and an orange segment wedged in his mouth. It’s how he’d want to go I’m quite sure..