GIRLFRIEND!!

Just got home. WHAT A NIGHT!! Probably the best party that there has ever been on Planet Earth. Such a bloody riot. It was LEGENDARY! Of course I was way too bloody drunk to pop my cherry but the good news is that Zoe Hall is officially my girlfriend. Oh yes! I might not have said this in the past but Zoe Hall is officially the best looking girl in school, without a shadow of a doubt. Lindsay Joyner was even at the party and I didn’t give her a second glance. Neither did she to be fair. Robin was still trying his hardest to get his knob in but she was totally disinterested. She’s probably a bloody lezzer. She doesn’t seem to be interested in any of the chaps, no matter how “good looking” everyone else thinks they are. Either that or she’s TOTALLY frigid.

AND Abby MacKenzie shagged Devin Whitfield!! Fair play to the lad cos he’s a total loser but then on the other hand she’s a massive square. Still, a shag is a shag and I have to bow to the man who gets his end away before I do! I don’t suppose he’ll enjoy the aftermath though. If he’s lucky it’ll be considered old news by the time we get back to school after the holidays.

So me and Zoe snogged for an HOUR and then she let me touch her boobs, UNDER the bra!! Get in!! It was weird. They felt less spongy than I was expecting but that’s probably a good thing. She said that if her parents weren’t coming home she would definitely have been up for a shag. She even touched my bare nuts. It was AMAZING. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to concentrate on A-levels now..