Shit Flicks

Saw quite possibly the WORST film EVER last night. Brad Pitt is seriously overrated if you ask me. It wasn’t helped by the fact that I got ID’d on the way in. Do I look under 15?? Sal’s bloke Ian pissed himself while I was trying to find my provisional driving licence. Bastard. I hope she dumps him soon. Unlikely though; she was all over him last night. So shameful..

When I got home Mother was already in bed and Dad was in his study so I just went to my room. Something weird’s going on. I haven’t heard them speaking to each other since I got back from school on Saturday. They’d better not be thinking of getting divorced. It’s so 1988. Trust my parents to be totally behind on relationship trends as well as everything else. At least I’m too old to be fought over. Guy Williams was practically sawn in half when his mum and dad split a couple of years ago. God knows why. He smells like off raisins and bears more than a passing resemblance to Roland from Grange Hill. If he was my child I’d be happy to be rid of him.

Mother’s booked me a haircut in town later this afternoon. She offered to drive me in but I think I’ll cycle. I need the exercise if nothing else. I’m a size 30 waist now. Tim Figgis is a size 32 and is officially the fattest person in school and there’s no way I’m planning on joining him in that category. Plus if I lose weight then I’ll definitely be able to get a girlfriend. Lindsay Joyner would do nicely. She is massively fit and Robin Greaves would be gutted if I got her. He’s been after her for months.

Mother’s shouting at something. Better go..